Crotches, Crotchetiness, and other ‘C’ words: a Concise Compendium for Father Richard Ho-lung

Crotches (n) – or ‘cratches’,  derived from ‘crotch’ the part of the human body between the legs where they join the torso. The groin. In Jamaican English often pluralized to crotches to signify, in particular though not exclusively, a woman’s nether parts. Note, in some dancehall songs, men are encouraged not to nyam out crotches. Still, some men in Jamaica are known to drool over the mere imagination of  some women’s crotches – especially those with good up, good up bodies.

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Crotchetiness (n) the readiness to show annoyance or impatience; synonyms include crankiness, cross-angry-miserable-ness, cantankerousness, crustiness, curmudgeonliness, crabitness. A quality especially seen in the old, perhaps as they enter the early stages of dementia.

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Caylissniss (n) derived from ‘carelessness’. A particular kind of free-spiritedness that comes with moral disapproval. The act of flaunting one’s body or one’s sexuality or both. Sexual inhibition. Note this tweet from 2013:

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Catholicism: (from Greek καθολικισμός, katholikismos, “universal”) and its adjectival form Catholic are used as a broad term for describing specific traditions in the Christian churches in theology, doctrine, liturgy, ethics, and spirituality.

“Catholicism” and “Catholic” in this sense refer to the practices of several Christian churches. This sense is to be distinguished from the use of these words to refer to the Catholic Church

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The Catholic Church: The Catholic Church, also known as the Roman Catholic Church, is the largest Christian church, with more than 1.2 billion members worldwide. It is among the oldest religious institutions in the world, and has played a prominent role in the history of Western civilisation. The Catholic hierarchy is headed by the Francis in Rome, and Father Richard Ho-Lung in Jamaica. (This might not be strictly accurate).

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Celibacy (n) Abstinence from sexual relations; The condition of remaining unmarried, especially for religious reasons. Jesuit priests from the Catholic Church are known to take vows of celibacy. In latter years celibacy may lead to a particular craving for crotches, or also general crotchetiness in newspaper articles.

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Crap (n) something of extremely poor quality; excrement; more crudely – a pile of shit. See for examples, Father Richard Ho-Lung’s recent article on Lisa Hanna where he describes the act of a woman wearing beach clothes to the beach as the GREATEST DISAPPOINTMENT of 2014, and further compares this act to the fall of Lucifer from Heaven.

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cockafart  –  an exclamation of disbelief such as one might express after reading the above article by Ho-Lung

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‘Carry belly’ or ‘Carry feelings’ (v) to harbour a grudge, hatred or animosity for someone. To be vindictive. For instance, if a Minister of Government – say the one in charge of Youth, had acted quite irresponsibly in undermining the work of a famous home for boys run by the Catholic Church, say – the Alpha School in Jamaica which has almost singlehandedly trained some of the country’s best musicians, and a certain Catholic Priest, at the end of the year, called this Minister the ‘GREATEST DISAPPOINTMENT of 2014’ for wearing beachwear to the beach – yes, that would be an example of ‘carry belly’ fi somebody.

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Carelessness (n)   (Not to be confused with caylissniss!) Failure to give sufficient attention to errors; negligence. Thoughtlessness. Inattention. In Christian discourse, the failure to remove the proverbial beam out of one’s eyes. For instance, advancing a robust critique on the wearing of a bikini but failing to address certain failures and disappointments in one’s own ministry.

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Contrite (adj) feeling or expressing remorse at the recognition that one has done wrong. Unfortunately, not a common feeling amongst the more self-righteous Christians who are likely to comfort themselves with the scripture: Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.